Monday, May 28, 2007

forest universe

Too many of the good things end

I watch and learn the freying tides

hoping to jump ship at the right moment

believing only that all moments are right

if you have warm water around you

The silence of my once heart beats against the sound

of my tears falling

pooling in prisms within my memories

The silence of my classroom echoes back

against my mind's wish to turn back time's hands

and make so many more of these fine things and memories

I am still the wanton hunter

seeking refuge in the treeposts

looking out for a fine young buck... so to speak

of Primal and hungry for more of the same...

But with keener points

and stronger sinuea

meatier man to chew some fat with

or , at least , a more predictable field guide

through this forest universe

Sunday, May 20, 2007

licking the wounds so that they heal

i am an aunt again... to a little light in the world named Sonia
who came into this world while her mother
bared down and breathed hard
her mother, my lovely friend who reminds me
of the woman i choose to be
who lives cautiously inside me

the woman i almost am
hers, whose hands give signs of peace and love
a visible love, tangible and almost breathable love....
something that i would love to have
a love that caresses me warmly in the nighttime and whispers sweet nothings to me and actual "i love you's"
wants to persuade my better judgement and make me swelter from the pure delight of it.... is it possible then?
Little Sonia says it is,
she cries "mama mia" and dreams of sucking while she sleeps... she dreams anyway, for her name is reminiscent of "sonio" or "sonyo"... to sleep, perchance to DREAM.

and here is where my heart lies
With these bits of clay and glass so earthen, and animal... they almost call out loud to me.
they struggled into their journey, sure as i did, continue to do so...
And i am blessed to have such lovely things with which to occupy my broken soul To heal me up and make me (almost) whole
Got revived again
the baby who almost came to be within me,
a share little someone, who i prayed and prayed to let go of, whose face i saw in many a dreamy moment, whose skin would have smelled a bit of the blue mediterranian, even if his skin were white as mine...
and the universe opened up the day that God saw fit to have him wait for another moment, in which to be alive... The sun shone ever brighter, and the air breathed oh so easier. And now i live in wonder and i heal and heal some more....
and one day i will be whole
and one day
i will be whole
and one day
i will be whole
and one day i will be whole
and one day i will be whole
and one day i will be whole
and one day i will be whole
and one day i will be whole