Saturday, December 30, 2006

winter soul-stace

25 deciembre

Hola & good morn'
of god

percussioning day
eclipsing the power of night

Good morn to the sun
mercifully the earth with its warmth and its light

Proud waves call to the sun
"Tame us!
Turn us free of our quaking & churning"

They hail out loud,
"Meet the sun!
Send us your christmas trees for the burning."

They sing "Hallelujah my sun!"
And they beat to the shores of their boundaries...
Clouds gather and roil, whilst this

the longer day unfolds,
and with it, the cleansing of earth's arteries.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

holly days and pink eyes

uncompromising year, this, now nearly gone, left me feeling fitter than i did throughout much of it. still, i sit and ponder dreams of old gone lovers and times finding answers to many puzzles and ways out of many mazes.. ah, the epitomy of my life as it flashes before me and around me... comes glistening out of waterfalls and sunbeams, trails slowly round my unround belly as i make sense of my friends, longing for parenthood and scraping by with mere provisions while i have my cake and eat it too...
i am spoiled but not sullied, i am strong but still so very weak, i am learning things about my psyche that have been hidden behind all my vices, and i can scream if i want to, but still i find it hard to cry... my family, lo i love them dearly, still have not found ways to love eachother, nor has my husband learned to fully love me, but i know they all are trying, and that is what truly matters... to cease would be defeat, and we all couldn't live with that.... seeing as some of us have not gone on living, as we once had hoped they would, and some of us, wishing that things could be different, have gone on living in the only fashion we can see fit... and that is good enough... or it should be.
i have journeyed to the big island and the top of yosemite and back again; have danced till my legs were jelly and head pulsed from exhaustion and lack of water: have fasted for real and only glimpsed the extent of depletion that faith leads throngs of others into and out of again with a renewed appreciation toward longing; have walked a greener path and wispered sweet nothings to my green things with an ever greener thumb than i once had; i have enjoyed this year greatly, despite the war and the death and the need and the apathy, and still can thank god every day that i live... but i worry for the ones who do not, and will not, because of all this absurdity, and their own utter despair.
i can only say, "take heart, my brethren, because the world may not be fair, in fact it may brutal, and still you live and breath; the ground may be polluted, in truth it may cause our deaths, yet sill there are fine fruits falling from the trees and warm breezes in the nighttime; there may be no one there to console you, but still you may converse with the stars and hold vigile with constant waves crashing at any shoreline. take heart and hold your patience, keep an eye out for signs all around you, that everything will be ok, and one day you too can be happy god gave you this life."

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

greener than this

i have high hopes to become the advocate i know exists
deep down, past all my layers of weekness and instability,
of contempt and scorn for this modern day massacre we call the
civilized world...
i have put down my driver spirit
and picked up the plight of the underpriviledged
and still i feel sick for falling in love so easily
with convenience

and the God-forsaken American Way.
but i took courage from walking amongst

my fellow brow-beaten believers,
last weekend in SF for the Green Festival
creating throngs of peaceful protectors
who hope for change, educate as they maneuver,
and pay heed to each prophets great appeal
to cast off these wicked ways and cherish our greaest gift:
the perfect and natural world. many have taken to celebrating
for at least one political purpose enacted this November...
yet i spurn the ones insisting we have won something
when there are reports each day of the bloodshed of the innocent
and the warriors who think they can protect something precious with only bullets.
when there are ancient forests crying out because of the deep wounds suffered,
the battle scars of imperialism and commerce
in a world losing its wonder.
when people continue to go without basics
while others simply throw out their excess
and smirk over their shoulders
at the poor on their doorsteps.

Alice Walker said it right there,
when she asked how we could call our country a democracy
if the system fails because the poor people
can't afford to buy their own candidates?
Her book, "We Are The Ones We Have Been Waiting For"
seems keyed in to the war being waged on our spirit,
on our sense of security, on our very ability to
distinguish right from wrong...
and she brought back some of my wonder,
when she reminded me of the miracle of a single peach.

I learn much from Alice, as i do from Dr. David Suzuki,
a leading geneticist, who spoke so eloquently of the delicate balance between

our environment and the work it will take to restore and repair mankind's damage.
Great minds may think alike, yet they have a grave responsilibity to act on their innermost thoughts, to challenge the common flaws of our forebearers,
and create a plan of action to spread the wings of conscious cohesion,

finally taking to flight all of our dreams for health, happiness, and well-being.
There is a terrific need for personal accountability,
for radiant people poised on the graying pavement,
staring ever at the naked universe, once so small and dense.

Sat Santokh, the yogi propenent of inner peace leading to world peace,
gave openly to our collective energy,
sang on with a low rolling moan,
"Deep blue sea, baby deep blue sea,
Deep blue sea, baby deep blue sea,
Deep blue sea, Baby deep blue sea..
And now there's peace throughout the land,
And now there's peace
throughout the land, and o'er the deep blue sea..."
and we joined arms, and we made silence,
and i reminisced with the wilderness of Hetch Hetchy,
and saw tiny reflection pools of blues, greens, and goldens
carved out in cuppings all down the mountain...
and i remembered why i always find solace in these festivals of knowledge,
because i know down deep that if enough people show they care,
if enough voices call out in the daylight,
if enough dollars get put into enough of the more resposible pockets,
and if enough waste can be eliminated from our daily doings,
then just maybe our future generations will still have it so easy,
and maybe one or two species might be spared anihilation,
including our own...

Cheers and thank you!!! to the Green Festivals team,
Global Exchange & Co-Op America,
and to all of the amazing vendors, educators, and volunteers who made Green Festival Sf a reality for so many of us who are thirsty for revolution and inspiration.
Here are a short list of some of my favorite non-profits that i would be thrilled to support in any capacity, and which you may want to check out for yourself:

  • Women's Global Green Action Network; Empowering grassroots women, linking resources to their needs, educating the global community, & forging a global movment.
  • Sustainable Harvest International; Planting hope, Restoring forests, Nourishing Communities.
  • Heifer International; End world hunger by providing livestock, trees, & training to struggling families around the globe.
  • Trees for the Future; Planting trees to help people and the environment.
  • Co-Op America; Economic actions for a just planet.
  • GreenDimes; Planting a tree for each dime you give, stopping your hideous junk mail!
  • World Centric; Reducing environmental degradation and injustice through education, community networks, and sustainable enterprises like "Biocompostables".

Check out CoOpAmerica's National Green Pages, published with a full listing of green, fair trade, and sustainable businesses! And here are some of my favorites at the festival, all of whom i would have gladly purchased from, (and some i did!) had i but unlimited resources and felt a bit more fancifully consumer-minded.

Please DO check out these websites in lui of heading to your Walmart, Home Depot, or Target; because when you buy there, you may save some pennies, but you will lose a part of our collective soul. These companies which i recommend supporting bring new promise of a better tomorrow and care more about the impact of their products than they do about their overall profits:

  • Biocompostables; Not just disposable, but COMPOSTABLE! alternatives for serving food on the go; the plates, cups, utensils, straws. etc. are made entirely from suger cane, potato starch, and corn and can be composted and break down within 30-90 days, saving trees from being cut for paper plates, and providing alternative to plastics which may take tens of years to break down, if they ever do. Every vendor at the festival used this product and every restaurant and scho0l which serve food disposably in this city should take a lesson! It's not difficult to switch to an earth-friendly fork, it merely takes your will and a dedication to what's right!
  • To-Go Ware; Another great resource for conscious cutlery. Reusable, very chic and made from sustainable wood.
  • Green Zebra; A savings guide based on eco-aware businesses you may already be buying from. Feel good about the money you spend and save! $25.
  • Living Tree Paper Company; A pioneer for paper products with environmental benefit, made from agricultural fibers, post-consumer waste, and some FSC certified wood.
  • Inkworks Press; Safe and environmental printing company based in Berkeley, get all you pamphlets, zines, and self-promotions printed here!
  • Peaceful Company; all the holistic, organic, rechargable, meditative, inspirational, and peaceful stuff for your gift buying needs.
  • Pangea Organics; ..And especially if you're buying a gift for me, i want something luscious from Pangea Organics! This awesome company from Colorado, boasts entirely plant based skin and body products, which are paraben-free, use only essional oils, use only compostable non-paper-packaging! The only way you could get something more natural is if you just slather yourself in pure milk and honey.
  • Global Exchange; Another source for clothing & gifts of all kind, all from fair trade unions, and directly supporting underprivaledged communities. Your purchases help to bring a living wage to all peoples, and educate those in the community about their purchasing powers.

There are so many alternatives to sweat shop-made clothing made from chemically altered or sythetic fibers with harmful dyes, which is what represents the majority of clothing options in America. The alternatives are there, but only if you are looking! Here were just a few of my favorites:

The list is growing of companies branching out to make products that conserve and protect our vital resources. But we must support them with our money and tell others all we know, including our fine representatives in government, our community schools, our church groups, our local media... everyone! We must demand better options to blind decision making & to our endless needless waste. We must start believing that our coffee cup matters, and so does the dollar in our hand!

Please visit the Chicago Green Festival, Apr.22-23, 2007 and check out to find one near you or to get involved!

cheers and namaste.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

lurking spirit

there is spirit lurking
inside each of us
waiting to pounce on indecision
on indecency
on discrimination...
but still we sway and bend
with a lack of confidence........... kept docile
kept unsolicited
by sheer weight and human frailty

at the child we were

into a complicated wreck of adulthood
longing for respite
in a world
long done of please and thank yous
so fragile it could erupt at any minute
into a noxious foolish riddle
that we can no longer "solve"
as if we ever could solve what
could be only be called perfection
once upon a bedtime story
about mankind's road to ruin

we dash about like pirates
parading stolen wares
to wear for the funeral
and forget the wheres
we came from
and the whys of where
we are headed
enjoying trinkets and baubblery
and forgetting to thank our maker


the one great perception
left amid the torrent waters
of revolution and conception
lies within the still untouched spirit
of the child who longs for his mother's nipple
thinks the world of the one who made him
remembers god's hand still
gently spooning him from the womb
and sees the fragilty around him

but laughs despite
the unsure world turning
because he is alive

Saturday, September 23, 2006


we are falling all of us
from summer into autumn
thrill sun seekers into
hot apple ciders
the warmth of hearth &

a welcome reprieve after exertions and
emotional springtime revelations

life is the thing we hold on to
while so many fall behind
world weary & ready to
wander off into the universe
as energy released
time capsules set to somedays
a lapse inside the blink of
God's Eye

i've never felt so ready
never quite been so scared
of what now stands before us
as Ramadan begins and
the world turns once again
toward the cold of uncertain tomorrows
Salaam and make room
for more emotions, but no more sorrows....?

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

in love with art

i am in love with art always and forever, it feeds me & calms me...
thank goodness for the artists that inspire me so...

this month's Orion features art from Tara Donovan, who tranforms everyday objects like tape and tar paper, buttons, and pencils, into sublime landscapes rich in texture and light... William Fox writes "When she manufactures such vistas, Donovan reminds us that these materials are now so ubiquitous they are becoming the landscape itself, the object displacing the subject." You will lose yourself walking amidst this mountain and valley.

...and then there is the work of the utterly exquisite & talented ms.theresa ganz,
a former NYC girl who now resides in SF and will be opening her show at the
Steven Wolf Gallery at 49 Geary Blvd on Sept. 7th (5-7pm). Perhaps a trip there will be my birthday present to myself...
her organic formations of photographic leafy content are purely delightful and remind of my days running wild through pine forests, watching deer walk amid the morning dew, and eating peas from the pod on the vines in mama's garden. Please visit her jungle pinups and feel obliged to wonder at the sliced depths of Eden...

Monday, August 14, 2006

big island hawaii; a piece of good earth

Purely delightful ol'captain Cook..
each & every cranny an'nook
The spinners came a'greetin
"Aloha! Mohalo."
The fishes swam a'teemin
in the crystal
pool a'gleamin
Jumping swimming gliding feeling seeing
things you never thought you would see
diving flying napping frying -
not even one bit caring
when things go awry
this is the calming effect of the ocean -

a world alive -

with much concentration, solice, & conservation
and when the lava flows and meets the sea
magic begins for all to see...
all who can look beyond themselves,
at least...

It's an uncommon theme,
this beleiving in something so much bigger for us all,
than us all..

But it has buried its seeds, and now it is growing
and now it is taking force
and now it is a whole new bird taking flight
a whole new wave to ride..
this beleiving in something that is not only bigger than us,
but smarter than us too!
But it is not new..

it is older than you or me
it is older than our ancestors
it is older even than the ancients
it was perceived, but over time ignored or beaten,
by our elders,
our adam & our eve..
it is not a word but a concept -

that god is in the water, not simply in the air..
not merely mythic being,
but reality & everything all around us,
and may not even
need a name

but just a reverence
for each & every living thing,
for not just the amazing but the seemingly arbitrary,
all the creatures
every current..
not only bits and pieces of god,
but of us all as well..
and a whole lot more.

That rock,
this bug,
that twig, blossom, or tree..
could be the key to life prolonged,
or our undoing.. eternal upsetting.
It is still our choice
whether or not to value these things,
but for how long?

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

grown things 2

the earth turns and heads south toward the winter....
i am amazed by resilience in life;
a life that is often choked by fumes of carbon destruction, canabalized consumption...
we are eating ourselves alive say the scientists,
hush, hush says the government,
thumbs up say the oil execs,
cry, cry say the mothers at war...
we keep fighting each other with underhanded, subliminal weaponry;
with back handed glances and deeply wounded pasts spat out on the ground.
we are the ones who turn blind eyes to the masses who live in peace until someones says they no longer can,
who go wild with the loss that those other reign down upon them...
blown apart by their grief,
in denial of any advantage even their mass can offer,
assured only in their right to defend and condemn...
but it is those others, the oppressors, who must see the might of human spirit, who must change in their path of ownership and wealth compiling,
to become something better than greedy animals, who feel right in doing all things, even horrible, masty, bad things in the name of commerce.
shame, shame say the shaman
who watch the night sky growing dimmer and dimmer beneath the ugly glow of emperialism;
who struggle and sway beneath the burden of our modern age,
who may yet blow in the breeze and get lost amid the ashes of the human failure.
if even the ashes survive.
god, may we please forget about our own selves for just a moment, step beyond this earthly materialistic rat race, as they say, and find ourselves once more listening to the stars and holding dear to every piece of life we find?
please can we learn that we are not the only ones who are worthy of a place in your heaven, or the chance for a better existence elsewhere, or even right here? that we are not the only species worthy of life and a place on this planet?

who guides the hand that acts willfully or woefully to spite another? can we not chop it off and grow a new hand, which only loves and preens?
am i merely the mad hatter's daughter which my husband implies, who lives only in fairy tales, and cannot truly understand reality?
is not reality, too, fluid and JUST?
how can the world hear my one voice, which speaks through the leaves and dines only on god given things, watches signs in the fire and sounds so utterly lonesome in the nighttime?
...but look
at my plants...
how they dance and sing.

Friday, July 28, 2006

china beach

It is not the beach i see in my dreams all glistening sand and warm tropical convincingly clear blue water.. golden horizon or geen flash perception.. adorned head to undertow in gifts of god's blessing.. birds swooping and careening from tide to valley, or sat adrift in water preening.. it is not the beach of volcanic rock with coral suburbs waving up from the ocean floor.. it is a tiny nook tucked away ensconced by the crashing pacific waves and the heavenly golden gate.. a nirvana for the far-from-people-beach-seekers who wind round and round the seven mile san francisco in hopes of finding a bit of peace and quiet at the sea.. it is difficult at times to find such a lovely spot as this even if the water is still cold as ever and the waves still a barreling force to reckon. china beach is not the beach of my dreams, but it may be the beach of afternoon soul-searching, catnaps and possibilities; which is good enough for me on most days. i hope you find it too.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

yosemighty over the edge

the weather was so fine
we thought that someone somehow had fixed our time
no reason only rhyme, rythmic and entrancing, dancing with the everywhere water, sooooooo sublime

the birds called from so many trees we didn't know which way to turn & look, look & see the friends staring down at us from the leafy sea...
And the rocky terrain brought oohs & ahs in refrain, tho there were so few populating this heavenly landscape it made us seem as if alone amid the wonders,

walking barefoot on some pathways and chilled by our lonesome waterfall misty breathes. We stood alone in meadows drowned and fished in the resevoir from our secret places found.

I retread the earth and watched in fascination the weary weilding of many a fire scorching whichever tree it pleased. A bush fanned my backside and a bear came out of hiding. These were the days of looking for solace and finding, of major rest and rejuvenation. A jubilee of water, rock, hill & dale...

a blessed place for god's creation.

i miss it already

Monday, June 05, 2006

Building Momentous Momentum: escaping the rock

This is no small feat, escaping from alcatraz. There are no words for the sheer strength and fortitude that exude from each and every athelete that took to the sea, and then to the wheel, and then to the street...
pushing forward until at last they returned to where they began, more weary and wild-eyed then probably ever before in most of their lives.
Sure, there were pros, who covered the course of some 30 miles in just a short two hours, like the man in blue with yellow swim cap who defiantly broke the calm and emerged first from the pacific; but none could say that they have more heart than the sheer numbers who emerged bewildered and beeming; once comely passersby ranging in age from the very young to the 78 years young at heart, some challenged beyond my comprehension, others simply straining to make the most of their fairly average human form becoming superheros before my eyes. The inspiration of their accomplishment, each and every one of the 1800 individual escapees of the rock that day, is something i take with me to the next adventure.... and beyond.