Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Friday, February 11, 2011

Spent alot of yesterday and today carving images, which when printed make quite the lovely picture, but will hopefully serve a better purpose for me when pressed into clay...

The lost token of a native people, the dreamcatcher, transformed into a round of barbed wire with a fence post running through it.. and a tomahawk readying or the kill.

Stagecoach #1 & 2, the second a must, after carving the first and printing it, only to realize that a mirror image was necessary to make the coach head due west! (an "Ah Ha!" moment to be sure.)
I am using this (#2) with the tomahawk, on a panel of clay regarding the colonization of the west in the U.S., for my upcoming show in April. The same piece will also include a "scalp" in 3-D, made of ceramic. I am very excited about this focus right now. Hooray for this push toward cowboys and indians!!

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

"Long Gone", last new piece of 2010...


2010 brought home to me the desires of my heart, mingled with the mysteries of marriage which have eluded me for 13 yrs... should've known that it would take me that long (13 being powerful to me) to understand how masterfully i fucked up two marriages, by never fully understanding what my role was in them, and what the other person expected of me, by never admitting to myself that i was involved in a "marriage" agreement... and by just generally feigning interest in being married, when really i am an entity wholy unto myself...
Lawrence Ferlinghetti wrote this poem, which i have often thought of as a perfect epitaph to my marriages, in whole:

In Golden Gate Park that day
a man and his wife were coming along
thru the enormous meadow
which was the meadow of the world
He was wearing green suspenders
and carrying an old beat-up flute
in one hand
while his wife had a bunch of grapes
which she kept handing out
to various squirrels
as if each
were a little joke

And then the two of them came on
thru the enormous meadow
which was the meadow of the world
and then
at a very still spot where the trees dreamed
and seemed to have been waiting thru all time
for them
they sat down together on the grass
without looking at each other
and ate oranges
without looking at each other
and put the peels
in a basket which they seemed
to have brought for that purpose
without looking at each other

And then
he took his shirt and undershirt off
but kept his hat on
and without saying anything
fell asleep under it
And his wife just sat there looking
at the birds which flew about
calling to each other
in the stilly air
as if they were questioning existence
or trying to recall something forgotten

But then finally
she too lay down flat
and just lay there looking up
at nothing
yet fingering the old flute
which nobody played
and finally looking over
at him
without any particular expression
except a certain awful look
of terrible depression

With this realization, i have had serious dreams, bringing up memories of my first husband, whom i loved but never truly understood, and whom i idolized but never truly respected. The dreams, and subsequent email conversations i had with him, led me to better understand how deeply the relationship affected him, and how the trauma of the whole event was something i ran fast and hard from, forgetting rather than feeling what it was i needed to feel, to let go...

My second husband... hmm?
As i was finally coming to understand my second husband, whom i have shared my life with for ten years, our love and trust rekindled following so many years of turmoil and subterfuge, the courts in the end decided to give us release.. HA!!! Thus is the crux of my "long gone" ideas of what marriage is, what it means, how it behaves, etc... No longer married by design or by dictate, now only married in my heart to the man i still love and grow with. The relief of this bears down on me, leaving my heart a smiling guide to my destiny.

Thursday, February 03, 2011

getting my act together

From the start of 2011, it appears that my work will be utilized for at least two upcoming shows this year: in April at the Space Gallery, and in July at the Market St Gallery.. more info to come for theses shows soon! But there is something very galvanizing and inspirational to me about being invited to place work, especially since i am not sure what work i will be showing yet, as everything new is in progress.

My bow and arrow set is coming together very nicely, with twenty completed arrows so far, but i still have a long way to go and the ceramic sticks i am creating are laborious and so far i have some trapped in a kiln that won't start, at least half totally unusable pieces which i want to come up with a new use for, and another batch just newly made and drying. Clay is a process..

Next on the agenda, a "western" themed piece with a scalp (ie. from somebody's head), and hatchet, pressed with a covered wagon w/horses. This came about as a response to the show in April's theme: western, cowboy, indian, gold rush... etc. But i also want to finish the "Old Dry Western" pc. from previous posts, which could also be useful for the show...

And my new mold works! (pics to come)I now have four fairly useful and functional miniature porcelain guns, which i am hoping will fire to be about the size of a derringer or slightly larger. These are for multiple pieces and although everyone at the lab keeps asking what their "for", I only have two possibilities right now, and am hoping that the ideas will flow more freely once i see their finished size and appeal.

I know i am really remiss on getting updated imagery for my last two pieces, and the works in progress right now.. which i promise to remedy soon. I have however been accumulating several drawings and some computer-generated thoughts based on the work i am doing, which are what you see here. Enjoy. More to come....